I’m Here, I’m Here But Catch Me Quickly

Yo…mom’s been hogging the laptop and smart phone forevah.  sheesh.  Now she’s all complaining like she didn’t know a New Year was happening.  Even us doggies know dat!

Mom be in her craft room, home office, own dawg house and she’s just sweatin’ all the small stuff.  So Ize smacks her on her forehead (yeah I flicked mom!) and Ize sez “Mom, knock it off!  You can’t do what you can’t do!  So turn around 3 times and flop your big ole butt down on da bed and takez a snooze.”

Problem solved.  Life is easier when you turn 3 times.  You can quote me.  I’m EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

It’s Just Water, Mom!

I’m a dog.  That means I hafta go outside and do my business.  I don’t get to use a purty bathroom inside the house.

So if the weather is bad, it doesn’t matter.  I pee in the rain.  And then mom gets all mad at me when I come inside and I’m wet.  I can’t help it that I hafta shake off the water.  That’s what you do when you have fur, Mom.

Sheesh.  Chill mom – it’s just water.  You can quote me.  I’m EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

Balancing Rabbits

My mom was a cranky boots yesterday.  Heh heh.  She was trying to do this and that, running here and there, and nothing got done.  So she fusses.  “I have too much to do and too little time, EmmaLou,” sez da mama.

I sitz her down on da couch and I tellz her dis:  “Mom dere are two types of doggies in da world; one dat chases da rabbits everywhich way and runs around and getz no rabbits, and one who makez da rabbit plan and follows it to rack up dem rabbits.  Ya gotz to know how to balance your rabbits.”

Mom laughs coz she knows Ize right. Life is simple.  It’s all about balancing rabbits.  You can quote me.  I’m EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

It’s All About Dad

I always talkz about my mom coz she’s the one who fools with me the most.  She flicks me when I’m bad.  Mom helpz me with my Twitter and my Face Book accounts.  And like Mom sez…it’s all about her.

Heh heh.  Today it’s all about Dad.  *puppy jumping*

You see, I gotz the neatest Dad ever.  He feeds me and takes me out.  He plays ball with me and he never getz mad at me like Mom does (sorry Mom).  Dad’s much more laid-back and Mom’s a bit on the high maintenance side (ow fly-by flick).  huh.

So today I just wanna say Dad…I’d share all my stuffed toys with you any day of the week. You can have Bobo, Rocky and all the rest coz I love you Dad.  Can I have a dog of my own?   You can quote me.  I’m EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

They Left Me & Went on Vacation!

Mom and dad went on something they called Vacation.  They packed their car and drove away one morning early.  They forgot to take me!  My aunts came and stayed wif me and took good care of me but I was so lonesome for my humans.  I just waited by the back door for them to return.

I don’t get why they have to leave me to go have fun.  Don’t they know I AM their FUN??  You can quote me.  I’m EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

Chill Mom, it’s Just a Leaky Ceiling

My mom be all stressed again.  She gotz da problems wif her house.  Dis time it’s da ceiling in da living room close to her comfy chair and da ceiling b leaking.  Mom called somebody in Surance — I dunno where dat is.  Dey send out a nice man and the fun part?  I getz to help him do da repairs.

I lovez helpin wif da repairdudes.  I may be in da repair bidness one a these days myself.  EmmaLou Repairz, Inc.  Heh Heh  Dat b so funny…I can’t use a hammer coz I don’t haz thumbs! But the real reason I can’t be da repairdude is nobody makes tool belts for doggies.  You can quote me.  I’m EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

Life is A Lot Like Ice Cream

Mom tends to fuss and worry a bit.  She frets and stews and wonders what will happen someday if something should go wrong.  I don’t see the sense of that…so I sitz her down and haz a talk with her.

“Mom, I sez…you gotta get over this nonsense of worrying about what might happen and be more like a dog.”  She had no clue what I was barking about.  So I put it in terms a silly human like her could understand.  I waited for her to get out the ice cream.

It’s very basic:  life is a lot like ice cream.  If you don’t lick the ice cream off the spoon right now, it’s gonna drip all over the floor and you’ll miss it. What happens tomorrow doesn’t matter; all that matters is the ice cream you can lick today.  You can quote me.  I’m EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

yep, licked it clean!